what i learned in crazy school

I believe that true closeness between people relies entirely on our willingness to be open. I also believe that in order to throw off the stigma attached to mental illness; we must share our stories.

- You have the ability to change your life by "reprogramming" your thoughts or "inner dialogue."

The mind is a powerful thing. If you tell yourself you will fail, you will fail. But if you say to yourself - whether you believe it at first or not - yes, this can work, I can do this - you will notice over time that changing a negative thought into a positive thought becomes a much less conscious effort. You may just realize that you've been doing better at work, or your relationships are better. When you think positively, and fight those negative thoughts, it affects not only how you feel and look at the world, but you are also putting out much more positive energy - and others pick up on that energy.

- How do you change a negative thought to a positive thought?

Visualization and practice. To explain further, I'll just tell you what I do. The first thing that pops into my mind when negative thoughts start to creep in, I imagine a big red stop sign that I hold up to block the thought. Then I imagine a large tidal wave coming in and pulling that negative thought back out to sea.

- We all want love and acceptance without judgement. Group therapy (under APA guidelines) serves this purpose very well. it's a safe place. We only know first names - or whatever you want us to call you, if you choose - and we all understand that this is a sacred environment where we can say anything, and know it's okay.

But the strongest thing I took away from group therapy - 2 weeks of it - is that the human experience is universal. Hearing thoughts I have had verbatim out of the mouths of complete strangers shattered my shell of self-pity. Suddenly I felt connected with these people - "hey, it's really not just me!"

So over two weeks, with group members moving in and out as each of our two week outpatient treatments began and ended, we opened ourselves up to each other, little by little. Under the supervision of a therapist, we were allowed to tell as little or as much as we wanted. And this was so important because we were all there because of a very personal reason.

Mine? I was on the verge of going off the deep end. I wasn't respected at my job. My bosses never had the balls to tell me where I needed to improve - they thought I should just "know." They did things behind my back to let me know in the most passive-aggressive way possible, that I wasn't living up to their expectations.

After all that intensive therapy, my depression had finally begun to lift, and I decided I was done with that agency. Life is too damn short to work for people who don't respect you or give you any opportunity to show your skills.

Years later, I continue to draw on that experience - and I'm a much healthier person for it.