What it is to be one of the “working poor”

A news story in the MSM recently brought about a very emotional reaction in me - one I suspect is quite different from the reaction of most.

Link to story and video:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/20/gunman-forces-woman-to-pr_n_327897.html

I felt sadness and empathy immediately. The understanding of that man's desperation to provide for his family is far too familiar a feeling. He honestly felt he had no other choice. Understand I in no way am condoning this man's actions - but the psychology behind them is all too clear. These are times in which every one of our limits are tested, our humanity called into question.

So many of us are living day to day, the thought of having to steal to survive isn't far from reality. I have been lucky enough to scrape by, but that's all it is - scraping by. I don't know where the money to put gas in my car for the next week is going to come from. But today, I made it to work, and so I have that.

What angers me most about any number of issues up for debate in the MSM right now - whether it be health care reform, illegal immigrants, unemployment benefits, et al - is the implication, be it overt or implied, that the poor are poor because of some sort of lack of motivation or effort on their part. That belief is total bullshit. If you have never fallen on hard times yourself, you can never understand what it's like to have to make the hard choices.

My love and I have been together for almost 6 years now, and we have had good times and bad. As he says, "sometimes you're flush, and sometimes you're bust." I was laid off from a job I'd had for 3 years this past April. Thankfully, I found my current job towards the end of May and so only had to endure about 6-8 weeks of unemployment. That doesn't mean that in that time we didn't have to drain both of my 401k's and the bank accounts to survive though. But what of my friends who were laid off that same day and have yet to find employ? I can't even imagine. We both have bad credit, no credit cards that we can use, no rich relatives to borrow from.

I see the looks, get the suggestions - "can't you just put it on a credit card?" or "surely you don't mean you have *no* money..." Yes, that's exactly what I mean. For far too many of us, there is no magic solution. There is no pot of gold. All we have is the hope that maybe something will change tomorrow. I have a good job, I make what is considered a reasonably good salary. There are no "extras" left to cut. And yet here we are, 1 week to go until the next paycheck, having called in all our chips. Title loan places and the like get a bad rap, but without them, we'd be out on our asses. Yes, the interest rates are sky high - but what else could we do?

We have quite a few furry members in our household. One of them, a rescue, fell quite ill last week. Well, I'll be damned if one of my cats dies because I'm broke. So off to the vet we go, writing post-dated checks, praying they'll hold off cashing them just a few more days. She is well now, but we're out another $500 we didn't have in the first place. Our pets being like our children though, I can't imagine the elevated desperation I would have felt had I a sick child - or a child that was hungry or cold or any of those things. So when I go to my employer and ask for an advance on my paycheck and am turned down, all they hear is "give me money" - when they fail to recognize just how humiliating it is to have to ask in the first place. Then we have my ex-employer, from whom we took in the aforementioned rescue cat, on the agreement that he would pay her vet bills for life if we could just give her a home. So we did. And when I called him this past Friday, not only did I get a resounding "no," he had the nerve to tell me to "just put her to sleep." Needless to say, any respect I ever had for this man for whom I'd worked for 3 years dissolved in an instant. The vet bill wouldn't have been anything for him to pay - but clearly he never meant a word of what he said. Perhaps I'm the fool for taking someone at their word - but it was a rude awakening I was not prepared for. And so, off to the title loan place I went.

So for all of those out there who find nothing to say to stories like these other than tut-tutting over our lack of savings and decent credit - fuck you. If you've never had to choose between paying your utilities and having food to eat, you can't possibly understand the choices we've had to make. You sit in your ivory towers and look down, as it is so very easy for you to do, offering your pity - but nothing else. I feel closer to the homeless man on the street than I do my own bosses. We too are only a heartbeat away from losing what little we have left, and so when stories come across like the one I referenced above, I hurt. I know that pain. What I don't understand - and pray I never will - is how any human being can see this kind of suffering and just not give a shit. Layoffs are happening every day, and yet those at the top don't see their salaries cut. Perhaps if it occurred to them that having a job is better than no job at all, shared salary cuts would be welcomed as opposed to flat out not considered. God forbid the CEO not be able to keep up his vacation home or have to cancel that executive retreat. You're the same people that are against a healthcare public option (go to the emergency room! get a job so you'll have health insurance!), or harbor hatred towards illegal immigrants (who after all, are only trying to support their own families back home) or any other class-related prejudices.

Try walking a mile in our shoes. They might be well-worn, but we're still walking.